Ups and Downs

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I have been here... I will endeavour be back regularly again from now on.

The past couple of months have been filled with youth camps, sickness, job losses and gains, and other kinds of change. I have had so many things to write about and share that I just didn't know where to start.

I have been feeling weary, anxious, sad, excited, doubtful and in awe. Yes, I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster ride that doesn't look like it's going to end any time soon.

I really don't love rollercoasters or any rides of that kind at all but I realise of course that ups and downs are a part of this life journey we are all on.

God doesn't guarantee us a life without dips and bends and steep climbs. He does guarantee that he will be with us in all of it. He does guarantee that we can be overcomers because greater is the Spirit that is in us, than the spirit that is in the world (1 John 4.4). He promises that his "love never fails" (Psalm 136). He says that even when anxious, we can have His peace when we pray and praise him (Philippians 4.6-7).

Really, if I'm honest, I wouldn't want it any other way. Yes, I like it when things are smooth and I can see what's around the bend but I have met Jesus in the dips - those dark, sad, anxious moments - and he has given me peace and guidance and comfort and He is amazing. I have also had wonderful times of worship and joy and being in awe of God as I've seen young people come to know Jesus, as we've been healed from sickness, as I have been wonderstruck by creation again and again.

I don't know where you are on this rollercoaster called life. Maybe you're at the top and loving every moment. Maybe you're on the way down and have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and don't know how things are going to turn out. All I can say is trust Him. Trust the One who promises to stay with you. Trust the One who promises you peace that is unfathomable. I am... He is able to do "infinitely more than we could ask or think" (Ephesians 3.19-20).




(Roller coaster image found here)

"I am"...

In Exodus chapter 3 we read that Moses was summoned by God in the desert as he was looking after his father-in-law's sheep.

Moses asked God, “What is your name?” God replied, “I am”. Some versions of the Bible put it this way, “I am and remain present”.

This God cannot be summoned – He has never been gone. He is present.

Moses was never alone. Never forsaken. God was and is present.

You and I are never alone. God is present.

I am so thankful to God for this reminder today. I don’t want to think that I can or need to summon God to come and do my bidding instead of me realising that God is here.

God called Moses to be a part of what God was doing with the Israelites. God wants to call me and wants to call you out to join him in what he’s doing. Are you willing to say, "here I am", to say "yes"?

I am also thankful for the reminder that God is here, with me, in whatever I'm going through. He sees, hears, hasn't left.

I'm so glad he is 'I am'...

--
This poem was given to me many years ago and it reminds me that God is here and the best way I can live is to be present, with him, now and not hang on to regrets or fear for what was or what may be...

"My name is I AM" - Helen Mallicoat

I was regretting the past and fearing the future,

Suddenly my Lord was speaking,

"My name is I AM".

He pause. I waited.

He continued.

"When you live in the past

with its mistakes and regrets

it is hard.

I am not there.

My name is not I WAS.

When you live in the future

with its problems and fears

it is hard.

I am not there.

My name is not I WILL BE.

When you live in this moment,

it is not hard.

I am here.

My name is I AM."

Wilderness #2 – A time to refocus, refresh and get ready!

Have you felt like things weren’t going as you’d planned or hoped? You thought God was leading you somewhere better than where you are and yet it doesn’t seem that way at all?

Oh I have. I have left places that weren’t so great because I felt God calling me somewhere else. However, I have struggled with thoughts that the not-so-great was better than I realised because right now is no fun at all...

The Israelites felt the same way. They were set free and led out of Egypt. God led them through the wilderness on their way to the promised land. However, in the wilderness, they started complaining and wanted to go back to Egypt, forgetting how terrible it really was.

I don’t want to be a person shaking her fist at God and complaining about where God has me when he answered my prayers to take me out of the situation I was in. It’s just that the wilderness doesn’t look like the ‘promised land’... That’s because it's not!

I think the Israelites forgot that and I sometimes do too. The wilderness was a place they needed to go through to get to the promised land. The wilderness was a place that God took them through to show them who they really were and whose they were. Perhaps God does the same with you and me...

The wilderness is where God led the Israelites after rescuing them – to protect them. The wilderness was where God showed them who they were – not slaves but a great army and people of God – they had forgotten. The wilderness was the place that God reminded them who he was – leader, protector, provider – God Almighty! In the wilderness, God was drawing them closer to himself – to strengthen and fortify them as his people. In the wilderness, the Israelites witnessed miracles – they saw God’s power first-hand. God used the time in the wilderness to prepare his people for taking the promised land – to prepare them for the battles ahead – exposing sin and weaknesses that needed to be dealt with.

Wow!

Is this what God is doing with us when we are in those ‘wilderness moments’?

I want to be careful that I don’t miss out on what God has for me in these times – I want to see God for who he is more and more. I want to hear him speak and draw closer. I want to experience his provision and protection in ways I wouldn’t otherwise (oh, and I have!) - but I also don’t want to extend my stay because of ignorance or doubt or rebellion...

The wilderness season isn’t meant as punishment but as a time to be refreshed, to refocus, to get ready...

My prayer is that my heart would be soft and my ears in tune with God’s voice, that I would follow where he calls. I want to get rid of anything that will stop me from taking the land that God has for me – that would stop me from fully living the life he has for me on the other side of this wilderness experience.

What about you?

Get your feet wet

On a trip to the beach one day, to walk and chat with God, I stood on a point overlooking the sand and the water. I was contemplating my walk along the beach and back and for some reason I was thinking that I didn’t want to get my feet wet or dirty – weird for me who loves my beach walks.

I was at a crossroads with work, ministry and some relationships and had been wondering about what was next - if there was even something new to come or if I was to stay where I was. I was wanting a change but fearing what that might mean at the same time.

As I thought about not going on the walk, I heard God say to me, “Come and take a walk with me. Take your shoes off and get your feet wet.”

I was immediately reminded of two places in the Bible where God called people to get their feet wet.

In Matthew 14, Peter got his feet wet when Jesus told him to come to him on the water. He stepped out of the safety of the boat and walked on the water to Jesus. This is probably my favourite passage in the gospels.

The other passage is in Joshua 3 where the Israelites crossed the Jordan River. The priests had to go first and step into the raging river and get their feet wet before God made dry ground for the rest of the Israelites to walk on (v8). Acting in faith came before seeing the result.

 Verses 15-17 tell the story of what happened as the priests took their steps of faith: “...the Jordan was overflowing its banks. But as soon as the feet of the priests who were carrying the Ark touched the water and the rivers edge, the water above that point began backing up a great distance away...the priests...stood on dry ground in the middle of the river bed...”

At the beginning of the chapter, God called the Israelites to a new place in a new way – not the same as before. He says, “since you have never travelled this way before, they will guide you...”

God has called me out before and this day I asked God if there was somewhere new he wanted me to walk with him or was he calling me as a reminder or confirmation that I was to keep walking with him, where I am?

God reminded me of who he was and of how he can be trusted, even when he asks me to follow him where it doesn't look safe or stable. He wanted me to step out and get my feet wet again. 

I decided, again, to say yes, because I know that God is faithful. Just like the priests, taking their steps of faith and then seeing the water stop, I needed to step out into the new thing God was calling me to, trusting he would do what he promised, providing what I needed at the right time.

It's not easy to look at the raging rivers of doubt, confusion, fear, the unknown and step out into it all, hoping that we'll be okay, praying that God will do as he said. But, God is faithful. I know I'm repeating myself but it is true. If he asks us to get our feet wet, following him, he will take care of us. 

Getting our feet wet can be uncomfortable but I know that it is better to live with wet feet, walking with God, than living with dry feet, standing on the bank  wondering about all that God might have planned and missing out...

Today, if you hear God ask you to take a walk with him and get your feet wet, step out. He won't let you drown.

A prayer from Psalm 40

Psalm 40v3 “He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.”

Lord, I want my life to reflect you – your glory. I want you to shine through me so people will see you and be ‘amazed’ and put their trust in you.

v4 “Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord...”

May that joy fill my life and be evident to those around me – a reflection of you in my life.

v10 “I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart; I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power.”

Lord, open my mouth and give me the words to speak and share... I don’t want to keep you or your Good News hidden in my life.

Amen

Maybe today

I have had a couple of days of feeling quite down - frustrated and angry about things being "the same"... I have not like being confined to these 'four walls' because of our financial and car situation right now. I am longing for beauty and freedom - the ocean walks and sea breezes in early mornings and late evenings...

I guess I have been grieving the loss of what was and fighting against embracing what is.

The loss, I cannot alter but what is now...can I change it?

My husband spoke to me about hope and I felt that I had lost it. Hope: the idea that things can and will change; the promise or expectation that "maybe today" God will change my circumstances. Maybe today God will provide for our needs. Maybe today God will answer and my family will be saved. Maybe today...

I need to fight against the pessimism that says, "probably not today"... I want to trust God, believe him for answers to prayer. I want to live in hope - in expectation - in anticipation of what just might be... I am sick of living with a mindset that is almost resolved to believe and see the bad, the unchanging...

Just now, God is speaking, reminding me that he doesn't change but he does change things, circumstances, people. Isaiah 59.1 says, "Listen! The Lord's arm is not too weak to save you, nor is his ear too deaf to hear you call."

In Isaiah 43.19, God says, "I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?..."

God does want to answer my prayers and he hears my cries... He also tells me that he wants to change me - in my circumstances - so that I can stand firm, have hope, find joy - no matter where I find myself.

So, I choose hope. I choose to trust God. I believe that maybe today...I will be different.

The power to choose

Sometimes I feel like I have no choices in certain situations when really I do, I just don't like the choices that are there.

Have you ever felt like you have been or are being dragged through life? I have.

There have been times when I haven't chosen things that were done to me and haven't chosen circumstances I have faced. However, God reminds me that there are still choices I can make in those situations. I can choose how I respond...

I think that I have felt that kind of choice - my choice of my response - was a 'cop out' - something to try and give me a little control in a situation that felt totally out of control and so not really a choice at all.

I write today and think a little differently.

Deuteronomy 30.20 says, "You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life."

I may not like my choices at times but I can still choose... I can choose to keep my eyes on Jesus. I can choose to love or to forgive. I can choose to find joy and to serve.

It's easier to write those words than to live them out - I know this all too well. Even as I wrote them I heard myself say, "But it's not fair..."

Choosing these things when I cannot change a circumstance, at first seems a little weak (something I hate) but somewhere deep inside, God's Spirit whispers that it's in the choosing that strength is actually found.

I have to believe this. I want to choose to believe this and live from there.

My prayer today is, "God, please help me to respond and not react; to choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control, not self-pity or anger. Help me to forgive. I want to trust you."